also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
