As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
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