this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
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