we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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