i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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