you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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