white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
50% drunk capacity currently
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
