I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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