dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
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We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
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Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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