I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
