So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize