I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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