i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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