Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
