What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
