You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Small penises have feelings too.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
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