the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
