We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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