Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
