I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Randomize
