You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Randomize
