these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize