He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
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