that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize