i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I just threw up on my dentist
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
