sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
