yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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