two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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