So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
