Where is the hickey?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
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