do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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