I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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