So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
