You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
