I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
