Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
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