Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
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soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
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All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
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