you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
