dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
