You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I cockslap morals
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
