Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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