Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
