Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
