in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
