You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
