Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
