im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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