Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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