I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I am puke
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Randomize
