i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Randomize
