I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize