We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
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