do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
ttyl tear gas
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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