Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
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