okay pat passed out under dana's car
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Randomize
