so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
