Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
