ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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